Dead Snow and my Hatred of Horror

I hate horror movies. Horror movies capitalize on fear. It's a cheap shot. The makers are rude to assume a cookie cutter formula -- creepy string music, young people having forbidden relations, dark and abandoned cabins etc -- will impress and entertain me. Unfortunately I have a low tolerance for their generic scare tactics and despite my stance on idiotic scary movies, they sometimes work. So I consistently choose to avoid them.

I only agreed to watch Dead Snow for three reasons: 1.) It was the middle of the day. 2.) It's practically summer in south central Texas and therefore the cold setting isn't directly applicable to my real life. 3.) My boyfriend asked nicely.

Dead Snow is not only a horror movie, it's a Nazi zombie movie from Norway. This horror movie is original compared to more generic gore flicks that put the horror in horrible.

Now although I don't like horror films, I think I might have enjoyed it just a little bit. It certainly had more gore than any movie I've ever seen, including the ripping of people in half, a close-up of a creature getting its eyes gouged out, and lots of blood. Everywhere. Most of the graphics were actually believable although the plot had gaping cliches. Examples: Young med students are vacationing in an isolated cabin in the snow-capped hills of Norway. They all want to get rich. And course an old man warns these stupid young people of their doom but do they listen? If they had, there wouldn't be a disgusting blood-soaked movie about it.

In addition to the gore, there were a few "That would never happen!" moments, which also comes with the genre. No girl would take of her shirt in -20 temperatures while straddling some dude in an outhouse. And not to take a note from the zombie apocalypse handbook, but rule #1 is that you never, ever split up. Unless you want to die.

It had some good moments, though. It poked fun at some classic zombie cliches, like the "don't get bitten" rule, which apparently doesn't apply to Nazi zombies who want your gold and not your brains. In fact, the Nazi zombies were more like the un-dead crew of the Black Pearl from the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie than typical brain-munchers.

I liked Dead Snow because it was different. It wasn't an Judd Apatow comedy, a Nicholas Sparks romance, or a Tyler Perry "I don't get why people like this crap." Since I don't watch horror films, it was memorable and (as I later found out) was premiered at the 2009 Sundance Film Festival. It's enjoyable sometimes to poke fun at the lack of logic right before you scream and grab the thigh of the person sitting closest to you.

So I say watch Dead Snow if you have a strong stomach, but don't ask me to join. I'll be lucky to make it through tonight without a chainsaw nightmare. But in a genre at capacity with predictable situations, there's still room for one more.

1 comment:

  1. "Whatever you do, don't mention the WAR!!"

    I don't know a dimly lit outhouse can have a lot of ambience. (?)

    can't wait 'til it hits Netflix!!